Van Gough

12/27/02

first draft ( first and last love poem )

So beautiful your soft gentle face. Eyes of fire, with understanding. Quiet and gentle as you work your day. A smile that lights up the room, your energy enchanting. Mystified and beguiled, I vie for your attention, soaking up the rays of words the light of your smile, the thing that is you. I watch you from afar, since the day I first saw you. Asked once for a walk on the beach, only to get to know you. What makes you, you. What do you dream about? At night what is it that your heart yearns for. I would move mountains and all of heaven to deliver it. Where do you go, when solitude calls? What is the thing that you search for?

I close my eyes then see your face.

Brilliant alive with joy.

Somber, quiet with compassion.

Playful, innocent with life.

Wild with passion, desire and need.

Calm, serene when times require.

But most of all.

Soft and gentle, intensely with love and togetherness, it haunts my nights.

The day you left marked deeply in my heart, to a place I once called home.

Both relief and regret battled inside.

Then.

I saw sitting there the beauty that is you, an illusion a vision a dream I could not believe, a heart leaping and jumping for joy, a soul crashing as I watched the boy next to you.

As I know this cannot be, and hope that I only have young delusion, to be replaced by the way of reality. This man I once thought a fool, I now understand intimately, Van Gough.